Week 8, Day 6

Dear Amy,

I know that 7 months from now you'll be cursing me for what you can only remember as bad food choices during our pregnancy. I know this because for the four years after SP was born, all you did was look back on what you ate when you were pregnant with her and think that you indulged, feeling sorry for yourself all the time.

Lest you do that again, I am here to tell you what's up.

Please remember that I don't want to eat...at all. But when I wake up in the morning (& several other times during the day), I'm so hungry that I'm in pain and I can't think about anything else. But I am sick too. There's not a thing in the world that sounds good to me (okay: peaches & cherries), least of all the things I should be eating like protein. This morning I ate a PBJ with marmalade because I usually LOVE that combination. It was all I could do to gag it down. And I drank it with milk...yes, milk. Because I can only stomach milk and water right now. That's it.

If I'm eating crap, and you remember it, please also remember that when I do eat those things, they are the only thing that even remotely sounds good at all. I'm not indulging, and if I do eat ice cream or something "bad for me" it's because for once, it's something that might go down. Take for example the small piece of fudge I bought at Yellowstone. It sat untouched for 4 days before I even nibbled at it. It's still not all the way gone and it just doesn't sound good.

And if you're wondering why I "just sat on my butt" for the first trimester, then remember this too. I'm tired. And I have a hard time justifying the energy expenditure when I have SP to take care of too, and if I waste that energy, then I have nothing else for my family. I have plenty of time to exercise. You may think that it's not a waste of energy to exercise right now but it would inevitably end up in a nap - and I've almost gotten to the point where a nap isn't crucial every single day . That's a big step. Just give me a month, okay?

Ease up on me, alright. I know you're freaking out about the weight you've gained and how you're ever going to get back to where you were (like that was so impressive) but let your body just do it's thing for a while alright? Cut me some slack too! I feel miserable and don't need your critique too, because I know it's coming. You're worse than anyone I know! You of all people should know what it's like to be me!

Just remember me!
The Pregnant Side