Waiting For The Stork

Getting Big!

2009-10-01T17:08:00.000-07:00

Tinkerpot is getting so big. By that I mean she's doing so many things that I don't want her to be doing...like crawling! Like pulling herself up. Like cruising around. She should still be a little baby lump that I can snuggle. But no. She's got an agenda and no one's going to get in her way!

Yesterday, she began the repetitive "mamamamama". So I guess Mama is her first word. I think it was Bug's first word too. I actually think Tink said "papa" first but no one really encouraged her the way Bugs and I did about "mama" so that's the one she keeps repeating. Poor Marshmallow.

She's been crawling since she was 6 months old. The little rocks back and forth and the inefficient crawls she had were so cute and lasted for so long I thought she'd never get the hang of crawling but now, she's all over the house. I had to empty out the living room of the coffee table and other extraneous furniture so she could pull herself up and fall down without constantly hitting her head which was so frequent she always has a red mark on her forehead.

She is sleeping so great too. Sleeps 7 to 7 with two naps now. The first an easy 2 hours, and the second usually about 1 1/2 hours. She's a good baby in that respect. What am I talking about? She's a good baby all around. She's just a mover. I can't keep her still even for a second. Church is a total joke. And she won't even take a walk in the stroller without half way trying to climb out of the stroller. It's ridiculous. I expect she'll be walking by the time she's 9 months.

She's Getting So Big

2009-06-13T11:34:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted for a while but there were a few things I wanted to document before I forgot about them. Tinkerpot is nearly four months old and a sheer delight. She's a beautiful girl and already I can sense a stubborn streak in her though. She's also a very active child and rarely stops moving.

She learned to roll both back to tummy and tummy to back on her 3 month birthday surprising us all. It has wreaked havoc on her sleeping though as she will roll over and then forget to roll back, or as she rolls her binky will fall out, or she rolls over into the side of the crib and be sort of stuck. It's been crazy but she'll grow out of it eventually.

She dropped her evening nap this week as I noticed it was getting harder and harder to get her to bed at the normal 8:30 time. She'd lay down then her head would start bobbing around (sleeping on her belly) and then she'd start the rolling and crying. Not letting her sleep past 6pm has helped a lot.

Tink had her first rice cereal 3 days ago from a spoon. It took some getting used to but I can tell she really loves to have solid food and she gulps it down. I'm not sure I'll put it in a bottle like I did with Bugs because she seems to enjoy it on a spoon so much. And the reasons I'm offering it to Tink are different than those I did with Bugs.

She is sucking her thumb and while it's not regular yet, I can tell she will likely be a thumb sucker. So I made her a little blankie like Bugs has. It's purple with lady bugs on it and a red blanket binding. It's adorable and I offer it to her whenever she's eating, playing with her hands or going to sleep. Bugs finds so much comfort in her blankie that I can't help but think it's a good thing.

Lastly, my milk has nearly dried. I've been pumping a little bit to mix with formula for her and we're now doing 50%/50% to get her weaned and onto a bottle. The transition was/is difficult and she didn't care for the bottle at first, of course. Although I had all these wondeful Avent bottles, I had to go buy a bottle with a nipple that resembled that of her binkie before she'd take it. She drank from it for several days before she'd take the Avent and now that's better. The Avent system is really good and I have a ton of the bottles, nipples etc. I'm sad to not be BF'ing anymore but it's also a good thing considering summer's here and we're at the pool and running around. BF'ing is really hard when you're on the go and forget it at the pool.

All in all, life is good with Tinkerpot. She's a great baby, sleeps wonderfully and is a joy to our family. I thank the Lord daily for our good fortune in being able to have this amazing child in our family. I look forward to many years of her.

Tinkerpot Notes

2009-04-04T20:39:00.000-07:00

Since SP was tiny, and especially when she was a baby I kept copious notes about her development, etc. It was my babybook for her of sorts and when she's older, I'll give it to her.

But it's Tinkerpot's turn. She's now 6 weeks old and before she gets any bigger, I need to document what I can before I forget.

What a sweet baby she is. So cuddly and snuggly. I weighed her yesterday and she's already 10 lbs. At her two week appointment, she was ony 7 lbs. 13 oz. No chance she's not getting enough to eat. At least I can do that right!

Since early on, I've been putting her to sleep on her tummy against common medical advice. I've found she sleeps better and longer that way and it always helps to keep her binky in a little better. I love how warm her cheek is when I get her up, hot from laying against the mattress. She's got fat cheeks, the better to kiss.

She eats quickly - 10 minutes and she's done much in the way SP did. I prefer that "get down to business" personality as it suits mine just fine. Also, she has been out of the newborn diapers for about a week now and most of her newborn clothing is getting pretty snug. O-well. It couldn't last forever.

While reading SP's notes last night, I found that she wasn't 10 lbs until she was 4 months old! Seems we're headed down a completely different road! The problem is that we'll probably have problems with off-season clothing.

Just lately it's been a little harder to get Tinkerpot to sleep at night. Day naps go great and she settles right down and drifts off but at night she fights it so much. I've taken to putting her bassinet right by my bed so I can re-position the binky many times and help her settle down without going in her room repeatedly in the night. Once she falls asleep though, she usually stays asleep until her next feeding time but at least I'm getting a full night's sleep. There actually was only about 2 or 3 nights were I was up a good portion of the night with her but that's fairly typical of most infants.

I sure am enjoying this little baby. She is absolutely the light of my life. I love to hold her and would do so the whole day through if it didn't make it impossible to get anything done. But she's so good - she will lie on the ground and just look around for 1/2 an hour sometimes which is so great!

I am so glad I had her. Not a single regret! It's amazing the peace she's brought to our home.

The Delivery

2009-03-04T08:17:00.000-08:00

After my first was born, I wrote up the birthing experience more for her sake than for my remembrance. I would be remiss if I didn't do it for this baby too.

It's been two weeks now since Nicole was born. She's such a good baby! I just can't even believe it's been 2 weeks already but I can't imagine my life without her already. She's just so special!

So...the delivery...

Let's see. Tuesday the 17th I woke up and knew something was different in my body. I felt crampy and somehow more tired. I could tell labor was coming. I didn't have much going on that day so I did a few things around the house but around noon, started craving tamales. So I spent the afternoon making a big batch of them. It was a good thing because they fed us and many relatives for about a week after I was out of the hospital. And I love me some tamales!

I thought I might end up in the hospital Tuesday night which would have been okay. My mom came that afternoon to watch Natalie so we had that covered. But, it didn't happen. I didn't sleep well though and spent most of the night tossing and turning with nightmares. I was pretty worried about the surgery. I'd even had my brother-in-law come and give me a blessing a week prior to the surgery just to help calm my nerves. After the blessing I did feel better but I was still pretty nervous.

Todd and I got up at 4:30 the morning of the surgery and left the house at 5:15 AM and checked into the hospital at 5:30 while it was still dark. It was very cold and there was ice still on the ground. I remember because I was worried I would slip getting into the hospital since I was wearing my Crocks because they were the only shoes that fit over my "Flintstone Feet" which is what Todd was down to calling them at this point.

By this time, I could definitely tell I was in the early parts of labor and my contractions were coming ever 5 minutes and while they weren't killing me, they made me stop and take deep breaths for a second until they passed. We went into a recovery room where I changed into a gown and laid on the bed to be connected to all of the monitors. Sure enough, the contractions were registering nicely on the monitor and the baby was looking good too. We were in that recovery room for about an hour until it was time to go get the spinal anesthesia.

I walked down the hall into a large operating room that was very cold. It was full of nurses and there was a long table in the middle of the room where they directed me to sit. I'd been so hot for so long that it felt sort of good to be in such a cold room. I sat down on the table and the anesthesiologist came in and started explaining what she was going to do and how it would feel. There was a nurse that sort of freaked me out because she said she'd be right there with me the whole time and she stood right in front of me and took both of my hands, as if I was going to need a whole lot of moral support. The thing was, they didn't let Todd come in that room for some reason and it would have been very nice to have him there instead of that freaky nurse.

Anyway the anesthesiologist told me that I would feel a sort of pinch but if I felt like a sharp shocking feeling go up and down one side then I needed to tell her right away. That scared me. The whole thing was pretty awful - the coldness, the anticipation, the lack of anyone I actually know to be there with me. Finally I felt the shot and it hurt quite a bit less than I thought it would and it was over before I knew it. Before I even laid down my legs were going numb.

They laid me down and I was paralyzed before I even knew it! And it was the strangest feeling. I've had an epidural before but this was nothing like that! I was paralyzed from my diaphragm all the way to my toes and breathing was difficult - like I had to be conscious of my expiration every single time. It was terrible!

My anesthesiologist was awesome! I started to have the weirdest panic attack and crying and stuff. I was panicking about breathing, and felt suffocated and claustrophobic. She just kept dabbing my forehead with a cold cloth and talking to me and it helped calm me down so much. I was so grateful to her. I've never been so scared in my whole life!

The doctor allowed Todd to videotape the whole surgery but he said the angle wasn't great. He did get most of the surgery. I felt a lot of pressure during the surgery as they were pushing my uterus down and pulling out the baby. I guess my water broke in a gust, sort of like a geyser and everyone laughed. Todd said he got it on video (I haven't watched it yet). Then, I saw them pull the baby out and they showed her to me. She looked bigger than I would have imagined but maybe I was just really out of it. It took a long time for them to sew me up and it was very uncomfortable because they kept pushing on my belly and I could just feel this really heavy pressure and I couldn't wait for it to be done.

I don't know what happened then but they must have given something to me to knock me out. Todd said I was out for about an hour during which time they bathed and dressed Nicole and who knows what else. They brought her to me in the recovery room just like they did Natalie. We had no trouble with breastfeeding and she latched on really good right away. We were in the recovery room for a long time, I remember. I guess they were monitoring my vitals and wanted to make sure I was okay before letting me go to my room.

With my catheter, I started dumping fluids almost immediately. I asked for a water retention pill and it helped me get rid of tons of water within the first day or two. I immediately felt lighter and in the three days I was in the hospital, the swelling in my ankles and feet went down so much and it felt so much better!

Nicole was slightly jaundice but not so much that they wanted to put her under the lights. We had to just monitor her during our stay. She weighed 7 lbs 6 oz when she was born and within the first couple of days had lost several oz and was down to 6 lbs 18 oz (?) before we left.

She slept pretty good in the hospital which was good because for two of the three nights we were there, I was alone with her in my room all night. Natalie was sick and Todd wanted to be home with her so we let my mom go home so he could be with her. We did great though. Nicole was a great baby from the day she was born and didn't give me much trouble those nights.

Lakeview Hospital was a fantastic place to deliver as I fully expected! During the time we were there, I think there were ony 3 or 4 other deliveries so we got really good care. The nurses were so attentive and very friendly. I was so grateful to them; they made my visit almost like a holiday!

All in all, this delivery was leagues better than my first one. My expectations were high for disaster but everything turned out so much better than I had even hoped. I'm so happy that it's done now and my beautiful baby girl is an angel. I'm so lucky!

In the recovery room

Weekly Visits

2009-01-29T18:53:00.000-08:00

I've started going in for weekly visits about two weeks ago. I hate going to the doctor that much even if it does seem like it's important.

The doctor told me today that I should expect to not have a baby much bigger than about 7 1/2 lbs. That sounds great to me! Not that it matters since they'll take her out C-section. But if they're a little smaller at the outset, they seem to stay babies for a little longer. And I have such cute preemie clothes! I'm such a girl!

He also told me that he's going on vacation next week and will be back February 8th. It didn't register with me for a little bit but then I started to panic. I asked him what if I go into labor next week? He tried to reassure me but I was just so upset - that's what happened to me last time and it made the whole experience awful! I mean, what's the point of a certain doctor following your entire pregnancy and going through your delivery plan with you if he's not even going to be there?

Hopefully I'll just last until my scheduled date and then there'll be nothing to worry about. What's that about the best laid plans?

It Can't Be Helped

2009-01-28T20:26:00.000-08:00

What pregnancy is complete without full-on pregnancy photos? This is so humbling for me as I have completely sworn off pregnancy photos and literally become a giant freak-o-rama on anyone who so much as walks around me with a camera!

The truth is I've just gained so much weight and it's freaking all over my body - not just my belly. I can't help it. I have been addicted to sugar but seriously, I gained just as much with SP and was actually very careful with what I ate. This time I just sort of let it go and didn't end up gaining anymore than I did with SP. So I am what I am - just a girl who gains a crapload when she's pregnant. Thank goodness I'm able to lose it!

So, ta-da. Here's my final picture - taken tonight exactly 3 weeks from my delivery date. I'm not sure why I'm doing this to myself, lol!

My Love Affair With Sugar...

2008-12-09T21:16:00.001-08:00

The Latest On About Everything

2008-11-20T13:07:00.001-08:00

The Marshmallow and I still haven't agreed upon a name. I refuse to discuss it because he won't let me have my way (Olivia) and he just doesn't bring it up. So there it stands. I'm sure we'll have a raging argument the day the baby comes when I just won't back down and he won't sign the birth certificate!

I went by Salt Lake Regional the other day to just check it out. I shouldn't have ruled it out completely without even visiting it first. I was pleasantly surprised actually. It is an older hospital and they deliver a lot less babies than the other big hospitals around but I like that. It means the nurses are less busy and able to provide better care for the patients they do have. Speaking of the nurses, they were so nice! I got a personal on-the-spot tour. The delivery rooms were just as nice as any others I've seen and while the recovery rooms weren't quite as nice, they were decent and very clean, and that makes a big difference to me.

They worried about my doctor being so far away though. For my situation, their policy is that the doctor has to be on-site the whole time I am in labor and they said that most doctors resist that. Not that I care but my doctor will have to be with me the whole time and won't have anything else to do but worry about me since he doesn't even have an office on site over at that hospital. I guess that's his problem and not mine but the nurses worried that he wouldn't be able to be there in time to care for me properly. I'm not worried about that since I progress so slowly. I'll give him plenty of notice too. The faster he can respond, the faster I get my epidural, hehe.

Today I went to the chiropractor to find out why my back feels like someone's sticking a knife in it whenever I move. I knew I had back problems before I got pregnant but since, they've only gotten worse and worse. Although the chiropractor couldn't do x-rays on me today, he said he was 95% sure I have spondylolisthesis which basically means that my spine is crushing itself because I have too much of an inward curve in my lower back. He put me on this hydro table that shoots strong streams of water all along my back to warm it up and loosen up my spine. Then he cracked it good and told me to come back Monday, which I'll gladly do. I hope my insurance is paying for this!

Allergies

2008-11-13T11:09:00.000-08:00

This isn't necessarily a post for human interest. I have to document the actual series of events that transpired after I realized my cat allergy just in case I need to remember at some point, or if some other pregnant lady has similar questions regarding all of this stuff.

So we got the cat during pregnancy...allergic. I took Loratadine (a generic allergy med) to overcome the allergy and it worked but I wasn't taking it every single day, more symptomatically.

After a while I realized I was having trouble breathing and couldn't get a full breath, not to mention my lungs were itching deep in the lobes and driving me bananas. I went to the doctor, afraid I was coming down with pneumonia or something. I was told I had asthma. I was prescribed ProAir for symptoms PRN, and QVar to reduce the inflammation, to be taken twice daily for two weeks.

About a week or two later, I noticed a rash starting to appear on my belly that looked like chicken pocks. It didn't itch yet but I was curious about possibly a yeast infection. I was at the doctor's for a routine check-up at about week 20 or something and I happened to mention the rash. He looked at it and said it looked like a yeast infection.

He prescribed Diflucan, the one-pill yeast infection treatment.

I took it, not realizing it was Class C for pregnant women, but found no relief. In fact in about 4-5 days, I discovered that the rash was getting worse and spreading around my sides, up and down! And it was becoming VERY itchy - I looked like I had fleas sometimes. It was awful!

I called the doctor again and reported the Diflucan hadn't worked and that the rash was worsening. He called in yet another prescription to my pharmacy and I didn't know what it was until I went to pick it up.

It was predisone. Now, I'm a therapist and a lot of my orthopedic patients take this drug to ease the inflammation after a surgery. I'm aware that it's a "big" drug with lots of side effects. So I looked it up. It also is Class C, which means it hasn't necessarily been proven safe for pregnancy, and in fact has been associated with scary things like cleft pallet and Down Syndrome. I looked up Diflucan and that's when I realized I'd also taken it although it too was Class C.

I decided not to take the prednisone. Wondering about the rash...and its timing, I also decided to stop taking the ProAir since the rash appeared shortly after I started taking it (the prescriptions for QVar and ProAir had been filled about 2 weeks apart for insurance reasons and I'd started ProAir later).

About 2 weeks after stopping ProAir, I noticed the rash start to ease up...and now it's nearly gone. I still take the QVar and was also taking the Loratadine religiously until the cat was banished to the far reaches of the earth.

About two weeks ago, I also decided to move the cat out of the house until the baby comes to relieve any other symptoms that might come as a result of the allergy. He's at my grandmother's house now. Since he's been gone, I've no longer felt the need to take Loratadine nor QVar (except once in a great while) since most of my symptoms have been resolved.

I haven't been back to my doctor yet and am curious as to what he felt was offsetting the risk of giving me 2 Class C medications. It wasn't worth it to me, and that's what I'll tell him.

The Big Ultrasound

2008-10-17T18:11:00.000-07:00

It was confirmed today that we are having a girl for sure. Everything looks normal, in fact it seems that I might be a week or two further along than what we originally thought.

The doctor looked at all anatomical structures and functions and found everything to be normal. They have a new machine in their office that can show the 3-D picture so I saw her little face right before she stuck her little fists up in front of it.

For the past three weeks I've been having what I finally realized were small contractions, verified during the ultrasound. She was actually able to see my uterus having a contraction. I had early contractions with my first pregnancy but not this early. I was given a medication to stop them so I wonder if I'll have to take it again. Since my appt today was only with the lady who does the ultrasound, I'll need to make another appt to talk to the doctor.

So if I'm 24 weeks like the ultrasound says, then I've only got 16 weeks left! Yeah! I suppose that changes the due date that much. 16 weeks from today is January 30. Cool!

Halfway!

2008-10-07T20:23:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm halfway along now and in some ways, it seems my belly growth has sort of stagnated which suits me just fine thank you very much.

My only real complaint lately is this ridiculous sciatica which is usually isolated in one leg or another for most people - but in me, oh no. It picks a different leg each day. And my tailbone gets so sore too!

Today, I was on my feet more than usual and I noticed that the sciatica was a lot more painful than usual. I attributed it to being on my feet but later in the day, I decided to change my clothes and as I took off my pants, a-ha! - somehow the pain was reduced by like 75%. It was those pants! I noticed they put a lot of pressure on my lower abdomen as they have a tight elastic band but I had no idea the tightness was also affecting my lower back too - duh! What's my degree in?

I retired the pants of course. They still fit and look decent but aren't worth it if they're going to cause me that much pain every day.

On another note, I have finally decided to go with the VBAC vs. a volunteer C-section. It freaks me out but I'm going for it. I'm just thinking of the recovery - I want to be back on my feet quicker.

Week 18

2008-09-21T20:21:00.000-07:00

I'm fat.

Girl Names

2008-09-13T20:48:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm not sure but I think we've narrowed names down to four. They are:

Ashley
Erika
Courtney
Heather

Middle names are a completely different story. DH wants to pick something that goes well with Amy, either as a first or middle name. That definitely complicates things.

My favorites are the first three but it's going to be a constant negotiation. What's your fav?

Drum Roll...

2008-09-10T19:57:00.001-07:00

Week 16

2008-09-06T18:03:00.000-07:00

I bought a pair of maternity pants at Old Navy a few weeks ago on clearance for about $15 and they are the greatest thing ever. I actually think I got a size too large and they kept falling off of me until today when I put them on and when I was looking at my hiney in the mirror, I noticed that the waistline looked an awful lot like the pants you buy a toddler with that adjustable waist thing.

Sure enough, they are adjustable waist! I just cinched them up and they fit excellently now! And I'll be able to loosen them up later when I'm needing a little extra room.

I think I'll head back to Old Navy and see if I can find a few more pairs of these adjustable waist pants. They're really comfy!

Sciatica has started plaguing me a little bit this week and boy is that uncomfortable! Couple that with the headaches I've been having on a daily basis and I feel like I'm always dealing with something. But, I found myself thinking today that I'd take these complaints GLADLY over being nauseated for 9 months. I had WAY enough of that the first couple of months and I feel so awful for people who have that to deal with the whole time. My complaints are nothing!

Oh My Gosh - My HEAD!

2008-09-04T20:48:00.000-07:00

It is at this point in my pregnancy with SP that I was going to the chiropractor daily to have an adjustment to relieve my aching head, prior to going to school - yes, DAILY. $30 a pop! It was so worth it!

And now they're back, only now they're migraines. I'm not sure which were worse, the tension headaches or the migraines. My only consolation is that I know what meds I can take vs back then, I didn't know I could take anything! I don't love it though because I'm ibuprofin from sun-up to sundown and I just don't think my little tike is benefiting too much from that.

On another note - I'm getting so excited for Wednesday! I am literally counting down the days until I can find out what I'm having. Really, so much hinges on this - you laugh. Really, the whole nursery, and my shopping can BEGIN in earnest!

Week 14

2008-08-24T21:00:00.000-07:00

So I've finished my first trimester now, thank goodness. I'm happy I'm 1/3 done now but scared because I'm already much bigger than I was at this time with my first pregnancy.

I actually begun feeling the baby poking me this week. I might have said that in another post but I'm forgetting now. Right behind my belly button, just randomly I feel a little poke and it's pretty fun.

So, here's my first prego pic. I literally HATE how I'm looking but what can you do?

Somewhere in Week 13

2008-08-20T19:45:00.000-07:00

So much for my brief period of feeling awesome. It lasted only about 4 days. For the past week I've been having to sleep during the day which makes me feel like I've been run over by a Mac truck. Plus I usually wake up with a headache.

I'm glad that summer's nearly over because that means the heat will be over too. I keep thinking that the cooler weather will bring some relief. At least that's the big hope.

We're looking forward to Sept 10th when we find out what we're having! DH finally has conceded that he wants to find out too so I'm very excited about doing that together since we didn't do that with SP.

Week 12, Day 1 or so

2008-08-13T20:55:00.000-07:00

For the third day in a row, I haven't napped! Today, I actually felt human again and feeling human is bliss, let me tell you!

The smell of cooking food still gets me and some sweeter smells but I'm regaining my composure and can tolerate a lot more.

And I'm not so queasy and dominated by my stomach, and that is so nice.

I took an actual walk today, in the heat no less. And then I went to the pool and sat...in the heat...for 2 hours. And then I even went to work without a nap! I was tired but it wasn't exhausting. I even considered making something for dinner today but then thought I might be pushing my luck.

But I'm totally fat. And that's the way I look. I don't look pregnant - just pudgy which is great for my self-esteem. Whatever.

I made my appointment for September 10th to find out what the baby is. That'll be exciting.

And, if you were wondering how me and the cat are getting along, we're not. I sneeze ALL the time and now I pee my pants whenever I do, which is frequent. It's annoying. The doc told me I could take Benadryl but it says it causes "marked drowsiness" and that's EXACTLY what I don't need right now just as I'm feeling LESS drowsy.

Week 10, Day 1

2008-07-30T18:55:00.001-07:00

Saturday night I wore my favorite black slacks out on a date with DH. They fit still even if they were just a smidgen tight.

Today, I wore them again and was unbuttoning them as often as I could.

I noticed yesterday that my belly does not resemble the belly that I know. I've popped. My normal shirts are no longer adequate and although maternity pants are still ludicrous at this point, I'm shortly going to have no other option.

Losing Track

2008-07-28T09:06:00.000-07:00

All I know is that there is only about 2 weeks left and I'm out of my first trimester! And honestly, if it was as good as it was last time, I just can not wait!

And I want to say something else here. I am so grateful for my blogs right now. I know that my friends read this blog and have read that I'm miserable but that's not the point of me writing all this down. Actually, I'm not really sure who reads this other than the few comments I get so that's even better. If I just thought people read this and no one actually did, it would still serve the same purpose.

This is the thing...I've been complaining a lot on my blogs and because I have been getting most of it out through that outlet, I've not been saying a lot verbally. I have just a few friends who have actually had to listen to me complain, and I like it that way. I don't like to complain to every single person. So the most I've said to people is this:

Friend: "How are you? Are you feeling good?"
Amy: "Not really, but it's alright."
Friend: "Well, I hope it gets better."
Amy: "It will. It's worth it."

And that's it! And it's perfect because although I've done my share of complaining, it really doesn't feel like it. So for all of you who have slogged through my complaining, you're not obligated to at all. I just love you more for empathizing with me through your comments, thoughts and prayers.

Week 9, Day 1

2008-07-24T21:21:00.000-07:00

DH has had the week off and we've just been going, going, going! It's been so hard! I've felt like I'm going on half an engine every single day.

Today, I got up and did a few things and 3 hours later, I was back in bed for a 2 hour nap.

Later, DH mentioned to me that he'd been out in the yard and noticed the garden has virtually gone to seed. I had planted so many wonderful things and now there's more weeds than anything else. And he said that he hadn't realized until that moment, how sick I've been and that he really is needed around here.

He also said that my last pregnancy, he doesn't remember being needed to pick up any slack and I'm glad he said that because I really thought that was the case too but of course my memory's shot. I also had been thinking that perhaps I really am a total and complete wimp.

You know what's been getting me though? The heat! I feel like I'm always at least 5 degrees hotter than everyone else. That's part of the reason why I haven't been outside to do yardwork. We went to the zoo the other day and I thought I seriously was dying of a heatstroke. It was awful. What is with me?

It seems like every single bodily need I have is of the utmost urgency - that if it isn't pacified immediately, I will die. Thirst, hunger, sleep, heat, smells - I'm absolutely sick of being like this. I feel so needy.

I also feel really guilty. I'm so grateful for my awesome husband who is doing his best to help me by cooking, cleaning, caring for SP and indulging my needs and whims (all of the time). Bless him.

Week 8, Day 6

2008-07-22T21:11:00.000-07:00

Dear Amy,

I know that 7 months from now you'll be cursing me for what you can only remember as bad food choices during our pregnancy. I know this because for the four years after SP was born, all you did was look back on what you ate when you were pregnant with her and think that you indulged, feeling sorry for yourself all the time.

Lest you do that again, I am here to tell you what's up.

Please remember that I don't want to eat...at all. But when I wake up in the morning (& several other times during the day), I'm so hungry that I'm in pain and I can't think about anything else. But I am sick too. There's not a thing in the world that sounds good to me (okay: peaches & cherries), least of all the things I should be eating like protein. This morning I ate a PBJ with marmalade because I usually LOVE that combination. It was all I could do to gag it down. And I drank it with milk...yes, milk. Because I can only stomach milk and water right now. That's it.

If I'm eating crap, and you remember it, please also remember that when I do eat those things, they are the only thing that even remotely sounds good at all. I'm not indulging, and if I do eat ice cream or something "bad for me" it's because for once, it's something that might go down. Take for example the small piece of fudge I bought at Yellowstone. It sat untouched for 4 days before I even nibbled at it. It's still not all the way gone and it just doesn't sound good.

And if you're wondering why I "just sat on my butt" for the first trimester, then remember this too. I'm tired. And I have a hard time justifying the energy expenditure when I have SP to take care of too, and if I waste that energy, then I have nothing else for my family. I have plenty of time to exercise. You may think that it's not a waste of energy to exercise right now but it would inevitably end up in a nap - and I've almost gotten to the point where a nap isn't crucial every single day . That's a big step. Just give me a month, okay?

Ease up on me, alright. I know you're freaking out about the weight you've gained and how you're ever going to get back to where you were (like that was so impressive) but let your body just do it's thing for a while alright? Cut me some slack too! I feel miserable and don't need your critique too, because I know it's coming. You're worse than anyone I know! You of all people should know what it's like to be me!

Just remember me!
The Pregnant Side

Revised by Dr: Week 7, Day 5

2008-07-14T15:07:00.000-07:00

I had my first prenatal appt today. I love my doctor. He's so empathetic and nice. I have such better feelings about him than my last OB.

Things have changed a bit since my last pregnancy! First off, I was given an ultrasound today - wow! I only ever had 2 the entire time with SP and the first one wasn't until 20 weeks!

But thank goodness, there's only 1 baby in there and all looks to be in order including a little tiny heartbeat going like crazy! SP couldn't quite figure out that what we were looking at was the baby. She kept saying, "where's the baby, mom?"

Evidently, the hospital of my choice (the one where I work) is too small to allow me to have a VBAC since I've already had a C-section and so I have to go to LDS in Salt Lake if I want to be induced and avoid another C-section. My dr spent a lot of time going over my options and helped me feel a lot better about my labor. He said absolutely he would not allow my 40 hours of labor to be duplicated again and I nearly cried out of relief. I really am terrified of that happening.

I officially haven't gained even a pound yet which is only surprising since I've not been too careful with what I'm eating. I eat whatever sounds good, and I'm okay with that right now.

Anyway, so that's that. Cheers!

Week 8, Day 1

2008-07-11T19:51:00.000-07:00

BabyCenter sends me the coolest picture every week of what's going on with the baby. I love to get them and see what's changed week to week. The baby's the size of a kidney bean and is getting fingers/toes this week! The little toes I'll be kissing every day (ooh, I love baby feet!)

The past few days I've been able to get through nearly the whole day without napping. I lay down after dinner but that's making good progress since for a couple of weeks, I couldn't even get to 2pm!

Food jags are getting bad though. I'm loving peaches and orange juice but anything that smells remotely citrus makes me gag. Any cooking meat throws me over the limit. Soda, the smell of coffee, avocados, cake, cookies, brownies, doughnuts: all are sickening, which could be good.

I don't think I've gained any weight yet since everything still fits relatively the same. I feel bloated at the end of the day but that's typical anyway. It's funny, last time I think I was in maternity clothes by week 11 or 12 but it's hard for me to believe that in 3 weeks from now I'll be wearing them. I doubt it. But I'd already gained about 10 lbs. by now back then too. That'll put anyone into a new size clothing.

I'm officially in the last month of the first trimester and am very happy about that! The 2nd is a good one for me and I'll be grateful for those happy days.

Week 7, Day 5

2008-07-08T17:57:00.000-07:00

And the good news today is that I've only got 4 weeks left and I can safely take Ibuprofin again. Heaven help me.

Week 7, Day 4

2008-07-07T21:20:00.001-07:00

How about a happy post to contrast the grumpy post?

I was working in SP's room this afternoon when I came across a framed pic of that little cutie the day she was born - probably only seconds after she emerged into the world.

She was very swollen, pink and squinty-eyed. Just precious. In a way only a mother can love...that sort.

But I remember holding her shortly after the picture was taken, and curling those tiny fingers around my grown-up finger and completely forgetting all that I'd gone through for the past 48 hours. How the pain and the needles and the C-section were entirely a memory as I held the product of my past 9 months' efforts. Just beautiful...and remarkable.

I remember looking at her and knowing that every little cell in her body was created by me. That every single piece of her was something my body had put together into an extraordinary pattern. The only part of her that wasn't wholly me is (quite significantly) her DNA. But it was my body that assimilated that DNA into something so miraculous. I did that...no one else. And even 5 months later, still all that made her up was something I'd given to her through nursing. There's nothing foreign in her. I'm not foreign, because I AM her, still (well, of course not anymore but as an infant). Until she took something else into her body, she and I are of the same "stuff". I love that.

I think only another mother can truly appreciate what I'm saying here.

So, as I complain and moan about feeling icky, irritable and bloated (already), I just look at that picture and remember that shortly, I'll be holding a perfect little body of my own making - it's so worth it. I just can't wait.

Week 7, Day 3

2008-07-06T20:41:00.000-07:00

Weirdest feelings this weekend! I just couldn't get enough water AND anything protein made me want to be sick. I didn't eat a whole lot of anything this weekend because it all just sounded (and smelled) awful.

And so it has begun in force. I do remember this!

The planning has begun for the room transition I'll need to make. DH told me he'd rather me move my office into the bedroom beneath our bedroom so that there's not a spare room under our room. Unfortunately, that means I have to move all of the exercise equipment out of that room, then move the office stuff down there. Lots of stuff to do, that's for sure. But I'm doing it bit by bit.

I looked at nursery design ideas on-line today and couldn't find a single one I liked. I'm trying to get a few ideas so that when I find out the gender, it will be easier but I'm just having a hard time getting any cute ideas. I'm open to ideas. I literally can do anything!

Week 6, Day 5

2008-07-01T20:12:00.000-07:00

First off, for all of you who have commented, thank you! You know I love to engage in comment reciprocities but for some reason I wasn't being notified that I was getting comments. That has been fixed so now I'll be able to talk back with you like I like to.

And...oh my gosh. Thank goodness I was dead wrong about the morning sickness. I had the weirdest bug of some kind. It still gave me some twinges today but by late Sunday, the worst had past and I was feeling so much better. I was seriously afraid that I'd have to deal with that feeling for who knows how long. I don't think I would have been able to work, much less take care of the one child I have.

Now I'm back to feeling again, like I'm not even pregnant - which of course is a great feeling. It's always nice to BE pregnant, but not FEEL like you are. There's plenty of time for that.

First prenatal appointment is on the 23rd. Will they be able to hear the heartbeat at 8 weeks? With SP we waited until 11 or 12 weeks. Hmmm. Cross fingers it's not twins!

I bought some maternity clothes today. I got out all of my other ones and am woefully sorry I have such a pathetic maternity wardrobe. Any donations from my friends who are done would be much appreciated. I bought two pair of pants, two tank tops and two shirts.

Who's getting excited???? Me Me Me Me Me!

Week Six, Day 2

2008-06-28T17:24:00.000-07:00

I guess my talk of morning sickness yesterday jinxed me in a big way.

This morning I woke up and was so sick. I could feel it coming on in the weeeee hours of the morning. I actually thought, "how bad could it be?"

Well, I gagged on my toothpaste and emptied my stomach in the shower (TMI? - sorry).

The rest of the day was as if my stomach was either tied up in knots or ready to purge itself again. ALL DAY long.

And while I didn't eat hardly anything today, and I thought if this goes on for too long I might actually not gain much weight this first trimester, I decided that just wouldn't be worth it. I can't imagine going to work feeling like this. I just feel green. Good thing it was Saturday and DH's is feeling empathetic.

Week 5, Day 5

2008-06-25T21:58:00.000-07:00

I took one more test this morning just in case the other two had malfunctioned. Not like my body wasn't telling me the truth anyway but this time, those two little lines popped up loud & clear in about 5 seconds flat.

I guess it's for real!

When I was pregnant with SP, I signed up at Baby Center for weekly emails about how your pregnancy is coming along. It has pictures of what the baby is looking like as it develops and what exactly is developing during that week. Then, after the baby comes, it continues to send you frequent emails as the baby grows. I still get them for SP. She just loves to see those emails so she can see what it's looking like. And I like to include her on how it's going.

By now, DH's and my family all know. We told them so they didn't hear it from my blog or through the grapevine. I wonder if they thought I would have another? For that matter, I was really beginning to wonder too!

But, I have to say - after I had SP in May, I decided that was no time to have a baby because of just how worried you are to have them in the sun and elements. I suppose that there are worries at any time of the year but I thought that February had a nice ring. Mainly so that by the summer, the baby would be big enough, and hopefully resilient enough to be able to handle some outside weather more easily. And...just like with SP (whom I got pregnant the exact month I wanted to - for an exact delivery time), again, I got my wish...a February birth. Mom says I'm charmed. Who knows. Course, if I was - wouldn't I have gotten pregnant 2 years ago like we'd hoped?

I'm just lucky to have this one now. Please pray all goes well!!

Week 5, Day 3

2008-06-22T21:09:00.000-07:00

I don't remember being this tired last time 'round.

And, I think my tummy has actually put on a little bit - how is that even possible? I've not changed the way I'm eating at all! Frustrating! I know my body will do what it will but I hope to temper the changes just a little bit - isn't 5 weeks a little early for it to start changing already?

Natalie has now told about 5 more people while were at church today. I'm afraid that most of the people that know are because of her and aren't even people we would want to know in the first place - you know, like before family! So, I guess I'm going to have to let all of the family know and my friends before they hear it 2nd hand.

I'll start tomorrow. I'm exhausted right now.

Week 5, Day 2

2008-06-21T22:01:00.001-07:00

I did an Internet due-date.

I'm due on FEBRUARY 20, 2009.

Did I mention that I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted my next baby to be born in February?

Did I mention that I usually get what I want? um, except for not getting pregnant for 3 years...yeah, I usually get what I want.

:)

Week 5, Day 1

2008-06-19T21:58:00.000-07:00

I stopped drinking Diet Pepsi and anything containing aspartame or saccharine on Wednesday. For two days straight I had huge headaches and of course I can't take anything for them.

I opted for a homeopathic headache remedy that can be taken every 30 minutes. It worked fairly well and I was pleased! Headaches plagued me mercilessly my first pregnancy and I will NOT have them dominate this pregnancy like they did last.

I have also sworn to myself I won't gain the 60 lbs of my last pregnancy. As God as my witness, I will moderate this better by eating more sensibly. Since this is 90% out of my control, I'll do what I can but I am pretty afraid.

Week 4, Day 7

2008-06-18T21:53:00.000-07:00

So, here's who I've told so far. I told DH the first night I knew. He was so excited and pretty incredulous. It's hard for a man to really believe since he's not the one experiencing all the hormones. We can tell when a missed period is more than a missed period...they can't.

I told my sister Renee that same day when she came back from her vacation.

On Friday, I told my triathlon girlfriends because they wanted to know why I didn't want to reserve campsites for the triathlon...because I'm not going to do the triathlon. They were so happy. Korina even got a little teary eyed, bless her heart!

DH called his mom the next day and swore her to secrecy although he's mad now that I've told some people and he's only told his mom.

I think when I'm 8 weeks along, I'll tell more people. Until then I'm sitting tight just to make sure the baby will stay with me.

Week 4, Day 6

2008-06-17T23:26:00.000-07:00

Oh. My. Gosh!!!!!!!!!

I took two of these suckers just to make sure. I'm Pregnant!!!!